Can you run a Family like a Business?

 Just like a Business, families function best on a system of roles and responsibilities. Oftentimes we aren't even aware of our roles, and yet we fulfill them dutifully. 

    In my family my Mother was very present in all aspects of our lives, she fulfilled the role of stay at home Mom. Making sure we made it to school on time, that we made it to our sports practices and that we practiced the Piano. (Which for most of my siblings we hated) It became her personality that she was available at all times for her children. It was rare that she ever had free time, and when she did it was extremely difficult to find joy in her hobbies. This extreme dedication is very fulfilling yet exhausting.

    Another example is my oldest sister, who is exactly 10 years older than me. As she got to be older she often was required to take on a motherly role as well. She had 5 younger siblings that were getting older and required more help with homework, and being shuttled around to various events. There was a role for her to fill and she filled it.

    Last example of family members filling a void. As a stereotypical middle child I assumed the role of the jokester. I think without realizing it I came to the conclusion that if people were laughing at me, then they would be happy. I made jokes and said edgy or crude things to try and shift attention away from arguments or hard feelings. Does any of this feel familiar? 

    Now that we've discussed children & parents roles and responsibilities in the family unit. Similar to roles in a business, we ask the question "Can you run that same family unit like a business?' Well there's more to it I think let's think about a couple situations.

    Take the example of an overprotective father, and a misbehaving daughter. What role is left for the mother in this family unit? She is stuck in between the two, trying to keep the father from pushing the daughter away. The daughter is secluded from her father because they are prone to conflict.

     What is needed? Understanding. If the daughter could understand that her behavior scares her father, and the father understands his daughter needs a positive and understanding father figure. That would bridge a gap left between the family and the mother would be allowed to resume loving relationships with her husband and daughter.

    Now take yourself back to your childhood, and imagine yourself sitting in the kitchen while mom prepares dinner, you and your mom are talking about how your day has been, what you learned at school etc. Now your dad walks in after work and puts down his gym bag and wraps his arms around your mother, embracing her from behind and kissing her neck. 

    I think back to my childhood and during moments like this, and it's hard to imagine anything wrong in the world. When parents are in love with one another, and united in everything they do they create an environment that allows children to flourish and not worry about roles and responsibilities. You see, families aren't all business, they require love and attention. So you may try and run your family like a business, and you may succeed for a time. However connections and roles are not the same thing, many families miss the mark because they misunderstand each other. Parental roles are primarily for parents. Families are the perfect structure for preparing children to live successful and happy lives, including work relationships, friends, future spouses and especially their own family some day.