Conversate. Am I right?

 

 

Conversate

Are you lucky enough to have tied to knot to that one special someone? If not don’t let that keep you from reading on, much of what is discussed below applies more to you before getting married!

If you’re thinking about finally getting hitched, then you must be sure you’ve found the one. Here are some subjects I’d bet you haven’t talked about enough.

Eating habits

Sleeping together

Sharing space – Bathroom

Cleanliness

Organization

Roles

-       -  Job

-      -   Chore

 My wife and I love talking, in fact we spent almost 2 years dating long distance and all that time all we could do was talk! And all these topics were things we had serious issues with once we got married. Each one of them. Here are some examples…

Eating Habits – I like to meal prep and eat the same meal all week. Jess hates that.

Sleeping Together – She wants to cuddle, and I like having space.

Sharing a living space – I take a more minimalist approach and she loves to have eclectic/vintage items.

Cleanliness – I leave the dirty kitchen to clean up after enjoying the meal, she can’t enjoy a meal with a dirty kitchen.

I could go on and on! There are so many things we thought we were on the same page about, however in reality once we were living together we had so many conversations that needed to be had. (Many of them into the late hours of the night, yet another thing we differed on.)

Statistics show that most marriages do not end because of big issues, they mostly end because of a lack of communication on the little things. 63% of couples decide to stay together after an affair and a large majority of them report that the marriage comes out more strengthened than before. So we see that marriages are not contingent on avoiding mistakes. They are contingent upon both people communicating.

So, you and your special someone are still committed to making things work (hopefully this hasn’t dissuaded you at all) Engagement is not a place filler, it’s a time to transfer from courtship into marriage. Engagement is a time to get things figured out. Nobody plans a marriage.  Yet EVERYBODY plans a wedding! Why is that? The wedding is a one-day affair, and it only lives on in memory and photos. Marriage, however, is forever and takes work and effort every day! And we are all so willing to skate on through these crucial conversations.

https://ericalayne.co/marital-satisfaction-while-raising-children/

Now you’re married. Congrats! Down the line maybe you’ll also be lucky enough to have children together, studies show (see above graph) that after the birth of the first child marital satisfaction drops off, this is often causes by both people becoming more interested in the baby than each other. Interesting enough most people in this situation report to be much happier than their non-married counterparts. How do we combat this? We essentially need to shirk the modern ideologies of psychology that says we are each our own identity flying through life taking and borrowing things as we need them, then ejecting those things or people from our space when we don’t need them anymore. This simply is not true, President Hinkley once said "We must care AT LEAST as much about what our spouse wants as what we want." This is the way to true happiness; modern society is straying further and further from the simple truths taught by the gospel. When polled, people regret 3 things far more often than anything else.

1. Getting divorced

2. Not having children

3. Not accomplishing your dreams

What do you think youll regret not doing?